Love, Lust, and Liberation: A Journey of Self-Discovery
After a chance encounter with a captivating stranger in a youth hostel, he finds the courage to pursue his desires, leading to an unforgettable experience of passion, adventure, and newfound confidence.
I have never shared this experience with anyone because no one would believe it. I’m a 30-year-old Indian guy. I’ve been an introvert since childhood who never had any luck with girls. I was a virgin till the age of 29 years.. had never been in a relationship or had any physical relations with any girl. I was frustrated to the point that I had given up on finding love and had stopped socializing & meeting new people. I had instead started taking an interest in other things like traveling, sports, reading books, etc.. but whenever I saw any couples having nice moments together, I used to burn inside.
I thought of quenching my sexual urges with callgirls, but I was too scared to take the risk.. to put my reputation at stake. I used to read stories about police raids on hotels & never dared to do it.
I traveled all over India, Nepal, Mauritius, and Sri Lanka.. and I was in Sri Lanka for a week. I was staying in Colombo at a youth hostel since it was cheap, but I didn’t expect the room to be full of girls from various countries. The room had 3 bunk beds (6 beds altogether) and apart from mine, 4 beds were occupied.. all four were girls. One of them instantly caught my attention.. a beautiful, extremely fair-skinned girl with black hair, medium height, and a very beautiful smile. She was simply sitting in her bed reading a book while other girls were getting ready to leave for sightseeing or whatever plans they had. Even though I had a plan to go out, I decided to linger for a while. She seemed to have a bad throat infection and was coughing repeatedly. We greeted each other & exchanged names. Meanwhile, I texted my doctor’s friend & mother for some home remedies & suggested the same. I helped her till evening with small nice gestures & helping her cope with the infection.. & meanwhile, we had a good conversation about our work, journeys, lifestyle, cultures & many other things. I had even started flirting a little, to which she responded by laughing but didn’t flirt back.
My nature after so many failures in life had become pessimistic.. to the extent that I feared bipolar situation. Or I might be wrong. Probably the reason why I felt upset again even while we were having a good time, & felt this was gonna go nowhere.. but then something made me fearless.. as if I had hit rock bottom and I had left nothing to lose. I was in a new country surrounded by strangers, there was no possibility of embarrassment in front of known people.. no judgment. I thought for once I should be the person I always expected to become. fearless & least bothered. and then……
……while cracking some joke I admitted that I had instantly developed a crush on her. She laughed & asked if I found her that pretty. I somehow blurted out that I did & I always had a thing for Korean women (I had) & I find them hot.. but I also added that after speaking to her I discovered more reasons to like her. Hearing that, she simply smiled & probably blushed. She asked me if I had a girlfriend. I answered & asked about her. She too was single. She went back to painting her nails or whatever she was doing. A few minutes later she got a call.. and before hanging up she said that she was heading for a shower and would call back later.
Now my heart was racing & I was restless.. for obvious reasons.. & the new fearless ‘me’ suddenly hit a hammer in my head! I instantly thought of something & rehearsed the plan in my head even though it wasn’t much more than saying a line. I had seen this movie in a movie (Indians will relate) & was ready to give it a try. I also decided I would check out of the hostel the next morning if it didn’t work. Meanwhile, she had pulled out essentials from her bag and started heading towards the bathroom. She went inside and locked the door. I took my towel, stood by the door, and a minute later, knocked.
“Yes?”
“Hey. it’s me. A.”
“Oh, you need something?”
“Yeah. Can I.. join?”
“Sorry?”
“Can I join you?”
My heart was racing so fast it could have stopped any moment, and it did when the door opened slightly. I slowly entered & bolted the door. Inside the bathroom, there was a very small shower cabinet in the corner & there she was.. standing naked behind the glass.. slightly smiling at me. I smiled back, removed my clothes, and entered inside. As I mentioned, the cabinet was very small & we had hardly 2–3 inches of space between us. Now a virgin, inexperienced I still didn’t have any clue what was happening or what I should have done.
I started doing what I was supposed to do. I started rinsing my hair and following my bathing routine like an idiot while staring down at her wet & smooth porcelain body. She looked at me in surprise for a moment & simply put her arms around me. I took the hint (yeah.. idiots need hints!) and pulled her close in a tight hug & kissed her. After a minute or so she asked if I had a condom.. I almost instantly lost my erection for a moment, remembering that I didn’t have it. She guessed it and asked if I was a virgin. I said yes. She said “Fine I’ll take care of it” & hugged me again.. and I had my first ever & unprotected sex in life.
I was supposed to leave Colombo the next day & continue traveling elsewhere.. but I chucked the plan. She was in Colombo for 3 more days. We bought condoms later but the other girls returned to the room at night. After the lights were turned off she sneaked in on my bed & we laid there naked for a couple of hours, kissing, fondling, whispering, suppressing laughter.. till everyone was sound asleep & then we had sex in the shower again. Came back & slept together again.
For 3 days, every morning the other girls would go out, we would have sex for a couple of hours in the bathroom (bolting the room door wasn’t allowed), and then go out in the city.. visit tourist points.. shop in malls.. have lunch.. roam around the city & also continued having fun various ways. We kissed hundreds of times, played with each other using foot under the restaurant tables, and had sex in shopping mall toilets, and trial rooms.. came back by evening, and had sex again.. cuddled again till the girls slept & the same routine continued. 4th day she had a flight to Malaysia where she was gonna travel next.. We were having a hard time keeping our hands off each other even as I went to drop her in a cab.. but it had to end. We exchanged numbers.. she gave me one long kiss and we parted.
After she left I visited a couple of places for the remaining days & returned to India. We kept in touch for a month or two. chatted a lot and Skyped a lot.. but it seemed that we lacked the connection beyond sex.. both of us started running out of things to talk about after sexting. I had wondered for a long time what she had seen in me.. because I wasn’t attractive physically. But as the attraction started wearing off I assumed probably it was just sex.. one lucky coincidence or miracle that happened & made us both want it badly. She sure was hot as hell but I guess hot girls too have their share of loneliness.. frustrations, and need to be taken care of. Probably then, she needed something only I could provide.. or the only guy available there could provide.. & she responded positively.
A lot has changed since then. No.. I’m not a Casanova now.. and to be honest, I haven’t had sex with anyone else than her yet. We hardly talk now, especially after she told me that she had started seeing someone.. because recently we seemed to talk about only sex & that wouldn’t have been appropriate after she started seeing someone. But what has changed is, I don’t have regrets now. I don’t get that burning feeling inside when I see two lovers getting intimate. I still crave love.. but I’m happy that my secondary need is taken care of.. the curiosity has found answers.. and I have stopped looking down at myself.. figuratively & literally ;) For the primary need of love, I’m ready to wait :)
